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The mighty Beast of prophecy whose claws and
mild disposition are no danger whatsoever! Alex's likes include long walks on the beach, strawberry daiquiris, Babo-Baka, and "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. His dislikes include anchovy cans, THE CHAIR, and Beings of Ultimate Destruction that have the ability to completely annihilate Life-As-We-Know-It. |
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Dorian is one of the many tortured souls in Hell who are employed. Being just a head, they stuck him on a decorative pike and made him Chaos' doorman. However, his employers didn't count on him being so bloody talkative. |
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THE CHAIR is Chaos' trusted adviser and seating
implement. |
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Lady Chaos is one bitch goddess. She's loud,
bossy, and has an incredibly short memory. She is fond of Alex, and practically
depends on him to retrieve anything she wants. Yes, that IS a blob, and yes, those ARE her eyebrows. |
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Chelsea, the Penguin of DOOM, is both the guard
and personal pet of Lady Chaos. She waits at the foot of Chaos' CHAIR, holding
her Frying Pan of DAMNATION in her vestigial wing, always ready to spring
to Chaos' defense. The only demon she can tolerate is Alex, and generally
doesn't hesitate to smack everyone else upside the head. No, I don't know what a penguin is doing in Hell. Let's just say it was too cold at the Poles and forget about it. |
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It slices, it dices, it's King of Hell, it's
the LUCIFER 357! Yeah, it's a blender. I couldn't help myself. |
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This is Fluffy. He is the Destroyer of Worlds. He is the Destroyer of Dimensions. He is the Destroyer of Life-As-We-Know-It. He is a Pedigree Saint Bernard puppy. He is adorable. FEAR HIM. |
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One Timothy "Timmy" Shmimothy is an adorable, big-eyed little boy who has the misfortune of meeting Alex, and other Hell-demons, over and over and over again. There is no doubt in my mind that he is very much traumatized by now. |
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The appearance of the Five Kiwimen is the final
sign that the Apocalypse is upon us. They ride monstrous Kiwi birds and
wear tacky horned helmets, and are said to fear only the Destroyer of Worlds/Dimensions/Life-As-We-Know-It. War's helmet was inspired by a mix of my all-time favorite Teen Titans and Digimon 02 baddies - but no one has to know that. Those who do get it, however, will laugh with me. Or, much more possibly, at me. |
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Freddy the Monk is an overzealous Buddhist crusader against the Forces of General Discomfort. He's obviously one of the few at the off-shore monastery who didn't take the vow of silence. |
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Delia, a young mortal with an interesting goal: to become the prophecied Anti-Christ of Earth. Why? Because it seemed like a fun idea at the time. It would seem, however, that her hellish domination is limited by a 10:00pm curfew. Her likes include world domination, objects and people who aide her in world domination, and power. Her dislikes include Fluffy, Alex, Chicky McChick, leprechauns, girl scout infestations in her front yard, being required to save the Earth, and losing the chance to dominate the planet. |
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Saint Blueberry Muffin is the sole food product designated to running the front counter of the DHV. Several hundred thousand years of relative time during this particular desk job's made him a little irritable. |
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Chicky McChick, your friendly leprechaun curse. He is, simply, a chicken looking out for his brood - the McChicks - by making a peaceful sit-down at Delia's house. He is sworn to remain at her residence and keep watch over his fortunes (which are kept under fierce lock and key) until she willingly returns his gold (which may very well be NEVER). His likes include Silk-brand Bubbles, waffles, and corn. His dislikes include gold thieves, acorns, Delia's futile attempts to kill him, and people who try to intervene with his Bubble-chain-smoking habits. |